Online Resources for Spouses of Soldiers in Basic Training at Ft Benning

It's only day 2 since he left to Basic Training. I still have mixed emotions. One minute it doesn't feel like he's really going to be gone for so long, like he's just out hunting or fishing for a few days. However, the next minute I'll see something simple like his favorite coffee cup and it will set off the water works. I don't have an address yet, and haven't heard from him since he got off the bus, but I am still writing him a letter every day. He's gonna have a back log, poor guy! (He's not big on reading, but I think this will be the exception) I didn't think I would have much to write him about on a day to day basis, but even after only one day of not talking to him enough happened that I had plenty to say.

 I feel like God is really with me right now. The day we dropped Josh off at the airport was so emotionally draining on me, and I was beginning to feel like I couldn't do this. He wanted me to be strong, but it was harder than I had ever imagined. That night I got the call about Bailey's soccer, her new coach had just received her roster and had scheduled a practice for the following evening. It was a sigh of relief because I knew soccer practices and games would help distract me from it all. Especially once Cody starts up as well, I'm sure it's going to be hectic dealing with 2 soccer schedules! (I just hope they don't have games or practices that conflict, I am only 1 person after all!)

I found some resources that have been helpful for me; Ft Benning has their own Facebook page, which has proven helpful in answering my questions. Just browsing through other's posts usually helps me find the info, including facebook pages for a lot of the different training companies. I'm just praying that my husband gets placed in one that has an active Facebook page, it would be great to be able to show my girls every so often what daddy is up to. Even better if we happen to spot him in a sea of camo! Some of the pages even post videos! So far I have found pages for the following; Charlie Company 1-19 Infantry, Bravo Troop 5-15 CAV, D Company 2-58 Infantry, A Company 2-58 Infantry, Bravo Company 2-47 Infantry, Charlie Company, 30th Adjutant General Battalion (Reception), B Company 2-58 Infantry, F Company 2-58 Infantry, Delta Company 2-47 Infantry (Destroyers), Baker Company 1/19 Infantry, Alpha Troop 5-15 CAV, and I am sure there are many, MANY more. Once you know what company your soldier is in, you can also view photos from basic training and even order some of them if you like. I've started a Pinterest board, Wife of a Soldier, just to keep track of resources I find and to keep myself inspired. (Though I can't pin Facebook pages, and yes I'm pinning my own blog posts!) Last night, I found a great website that is dedicated to Ft Benning Graduation Information. It even had all the future graduation dates listed based on their start date. We were originally guessing around Thanksgiving for Josh, but now it's looking like it will probably be December 5 or 12, unless he just flies through the reception process. (Very unlikely from what I've heard) I now know that graduations are always held on Fridays, and I've got all the resources I need when it comes time to book our flight, hotel, etc when we go to watch him graduate. The original blog post that I read right before he left was inspiring to me as well, she talked about how Basic Training strengthened her marriage. Most of the guys in basic training are fresh out of high school, so it seems to be more parents than wives dealing with it, and even less of them have children. It's hard to completely relate to them, and I feel unfair reaching out to military wives who have husbands off on deployments. The National Guard Wives Facebook group made me see that I wasn't as alone as I felt, there were other wives with children just starting their adventure like we were. I am not super active in it yet, but just reading about others experiences has been helpful to me. Another blog post I found helpful was How to Survive Basic Training as a Spouse, while it was geared at Air Force, it still applies to most any service.

I'm also blessed to be surrounded by a large group of very supportive family and friends. However, sometimes the most well meaning comments/questions can really sting. Sometimes it's nice to be able to reach out to someone who REALLY understands what you are going through. I also got a call from our local National Guard Family Services last night, she said she will only call once a month to check in on me but I could call whenever if I had any questions. I'm not a huge fan of reaching out to people I don't know, but I've got to step up to the plate and step out of my comfort zone to get through the next 13-16 weeks.

That's all the online resources I have for now, if I find more I will add them to this blog post in order to keep them all in one location. If you find any, feel free to comment with them and I will add them! I know there are A LOT more Facebook pages, but I only stuck with the Ft Benning one's, and one's that had been active at least within the last month. I hope this post is helpful to some!

He's gone

This morning we dropped Josh off at the airport and he's on his way to Georgia.

That was the most emotionally painful thing I've ever done. I cried the entire drive home, and anytime I'd start to regain my composure I would see something that reminded me of him and it would start all over again. All of the buildup before he was leaving, trying to ignore the pain of knowing it was coming, and then it was here and there was nothing I could do to stop it. It's like when you're a kid and you have to rip off a band aid. You know the pain is coming, and you do your best to ignore it, then someone just rips it off. The hardest part of all was hearing my daughters cry. Cody was crying most of the drive home, wanting her daddy. It broke my heart. Now I just keep questioning myself and my ability to do this. This wasn't a see you in a few days, or even a few weeks, kinda goodbye. This was more than that. I've always appreciated all the sacrifices military families made, but now I am starting to understand them. I don't know how these families emotionally handle deployments, him leaving just for basic was hard enough.

All I can do is remind myself it's only a few months. Hopefully here in a few weeks we will have some answers on when his graduation date is. Then at least we can start counting down the days until we can see him again. I have taped a photo of our family above my computer at work, and as soon as I know, the countdown will be right next to it. I know for a fact he will be home by Christmas. So this year, I'm looking forward to it more than I ever have.

I am so grateful at the outpouring of support, love, and offers for help from all of our family and friends...so grateful. While no amount of words or actions will take away the pain I am feeling right now, they certainly help. I'm going to do my best to keep busy while he's gone, so I don't have time to think about it. I just know I need to allow myself to cry when I feel the need to, because holding it in isn't going to do me any good.

Please keep the girls and I in your prayers, and even more importantly, my husband. I never imagined I would be married to a hero, yet here I am.

Military Wife

Three years have passed since my last post. Three years, where did they go?! So much has gone on in that time as well. We bought our home, Bailey went through Kindergarten then First Grade, Cody had her first year of preschool, I got a new horse, we got new (to us) vehicles, a horse for the girls, a lab puppy, Josh got laid off, then got a new job, then laid off again, the list goes on and on! Aside from home ownership, the biggest change in our lives happened on April 4, 2014.

Back story; Josh got laid off from his job at the paper mill in January...and after a couple month of unemployment we started to talk about the future, and the needs of our family. My poor husband is such a hard worker, but we had to start out our lives in a horrible economy, and he has been laid off of so many jobs now it's not even funny. It's to the point where we don't even get upset about it anymore! Why stress about it? We've made it through some hard times financially, and every time we've come out stronger! Back on topic...one of our biggest concerns was our need for stable health insurance for all of us. I was browsing the jobs offered ads on craigslist one evening and saw an ad for the Oregon Army National Guard. When we were first together and I was pregnant, Josh really wanted to join the Army. I talked him out of it, I knew what kind of life that would be and I didn't want anything to do with it when I was a new and young mom. I saw the toll his brother's deployments took on his family, and I wasn't ready to have to move away from everything and everyone I knew and loved to live on an Army Base. I started researching what all the Army National Guard entailed, through their websites, and through blogs and other online resources. I wanted to know all angles; the good, the bad, and the ugly. I brought it up to Josh, and ironically it was something he had been considering, but he thought I would never go for it so he left it at that. After our talk, decided to call up one of his old firefighting buddies who had recently joined, and get more information from him.

Despite my online research, I still had a lot of questions left unanswered. So we scheduled to have a recruiter come out and meet with us face to face. Josh's brother was there with us, he knew what questions to ask as well since he had been in the Army himself recently. We took our time to make the decision, it wasn't one we were taking lightly. We knew the impact this would have on ourselves and the girls...and we knew it wouldn't be easy. We didn't even tell our family/friends (except his brother) until we had made the decision ourselves. The benefits outweighed the risks for us. Low cost health care, GI Bill, a little extra income, a HUGE network for Josh for finding work, VA loans, retirement if he does it long enough, even military discounts add up! All of this was on top of the fact that Josh WANTED it; he wanted to be able to serve his country and protect his homeland.

We made our decision, and on April 4, 2014 Josh was sworn into the Oregon Army National Guard. I never thought I would cut it being a Military Wife, but here I am, the proud wife of a soldier. I always thought Josh was a hero for being a volunteer Firefighter/EMT, but he has taken it to a new level. He is the most giving, selfless human being I know, and I am so incredibly proud of him. My biggest fear is him being deployed, but I know it's a very real possibility, we will cross that bridge when we get there.

Four months later and now comes one of the hard parts, saying goodbye to him as he leaves for his 13+ weeks of Basic Training. We have a week left before he leaves, and I hate goodbyes. It's only 13 (or more) weeks, I know, but that doesn't make it any easier. All I can do, is try to stay busy the best I can. I get emotional every time I think about saying goodbye...but I know I have to be strong for my girls. This is such an unknown for me, I don't know what to expect. The only thing I can know for sure is that we will be able to write each other letters, and I will write him every day. Phone calls, pending his sargeant/platoon, they could be few and far between. I've never gone more than a few days without hearing his voice, and never more than a week without looking into his eyes in the 8 years we've been together...so this will be a challenge for me.

So, perhaps to help pass the time, I will become a more active blogger. Time will tell. Canning season, back to school, and soccer season for the girls is fast approaching as well! I know as soon as I get word from him when his graduation date will be, I will be booking our flight and hotel room, and counting down the days until we can be in his arms again. I'm looking forward to Christmas this year more than I ever have, because I know he will be home by then.